Immortally Yours
by Rhiane Raine
Summary: Harry is struggling with the memories of his Godfather and his death.


**Disclaimer- I own nothing. Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. **

**Immortally Yours**

A boy named Harry Potter sat alone in the dark confinements of his bedroom. He sat on the ledge of window, allowing the cool summer breeze to blow his stubborn black hair away from his tear-stained face. Leaning back against the frame, he stared into the blackness of midnight. The sky remained starless, as of yet, matching his emotions.

A tear leaked out the corner of Harry's startlingly handsome green eyes and fell to his pale cheek. Harry had never felt this bad in his entire life. Never had he felt so sad; so lonely before. His heart ached with the pain and sorrow. He missed his fallen Godfather so much it was unbearable. Harry halfway wished for the feeling to go away, but he also felt as if he deserved it. It was, after all, his fault. Sirius had died because of Harry's mistake. No matter what everyone told him, he knew it was true, and that was one thing Harry would never forgive himself of.

Several more tears trickled down his cheek. Harry couldn't hold them in any longer. They were falling as quickly as the icy-hot pain was flowing through his veins at the thought of all the deaths that he had caused.

Harry was crying for the death of his father, his mother. He was depressed over the fact that he had lead Cedric to his horrible fate and was grief stricken at having allowed the only parental figure he had ripped away from him at his time of need. A nauseous feeling crept into his stomach as he thought about how selfish he was. Sirius was having a hard time in his life as well, but all Harry could think about was how he needed Sirius to be there for him. He had put himself in the position he was in. He, Harry, had been the one to cause their lives to be taken. Now he would have to deal with the world on his own.

Harry pulled his knees up to his chest for some comfort. He wiped his face off on the sleeve of his tee shirt. If only Sirius were here. Harry missed him so much that he felt that he would wake up tomorrow dead of the icy-hot river running in him.

Harry cast a teary green eye over his bedroom and privet drive.

Harry remembered, shortly after watching him fall through the veil, being scared and hoping that Sirius wasn't dead, but had to accept the fact that he was gone

He remembered watching Sirius fall through the veil in slow motion.

Harry's eye caught on the open photo album on his bed. He saw the picture of Sirius as best man at his parents wedding.

Next to his bed was a new photo that Remus gave him of his Mom, Dad and Remus smiling as Sirius held Harry. He turned his head towards the window so not to look at the reminder but he then saw a stray dog and was instantly reminded of Padfoot.

The icy-hot pain runs pumped through his veins as he tried to not think about how much it hurt.

Harry regreted going to the Department of Mystery and wished that he could go back to undo his mistake, but knew he couldn't. All because of his stupid hero complex.

The time when he talked to Sirius in the fire in his fourth year during the TriWizard Tournament came to light.. Harry had been scared and was upset about Ron not believing him, but Sirius was there for him.

A memory of Harry waking up from a nightmare surfaces. He had revisited the graveyard again and had screamed out in his sleep. Sirius had heard him and came in to his room at Grimmauld to calm him down

Every time Harry had needed Sirius, he was always there to help guide Harry through whatever trouble he had gotten into

More tears fell as he pondered about how he may not have Sirius, but he has memories. Harry thought if Sirius could, he would be there with Harry

Harry always was amazed by Sirius's laugh and the mischievous smile he always gave.

Harry knew that he now owns all of Sirius's possessions and that he must deal with the house and with Kreacher as the burdon that Sirius died shortly before taking care of.

Every night Harry would have a nightmare about Sirius falling through the veil.

Harry heard Sirius taunt Bellatrix with his last words before his death, "Come on, you can do better than that!" in his dreams

Harry thought over everything as the words washed him over.

Harry let a sob escape his lips as he cannot control his tears.

Once again he felt guilt at his blunder and wanted more than anything to go back to save Sirius before his death.

Harry looked back to his denial of Sirius's death.

The hope, that Sirius would someday return, still lingered within him.

Harry scolded himself for believing the previous thought because he knew that he had to bear the weight of the world alone.

Harry suddenly had a new thought. It's wasn't that Sirius was still with him, it's that Harry was still with Sirius. Perhaps if he wants the pain to go away, he would have to let go of Sirius's memory. After consider his new epiphany, Harry decided that to forgeting about Sirius's memory to save himself the pain would be selfish. Besides, did he really want to give up knowing his Godfather? No, he did not.

"You still have all of me, Sirius," Harry said softly into the breeze before closing his window.


End file.
